Copies of my comedy rejection letters

Hello all,

I thought it would be fun to post the rejection letters for my recent fiction submissions on my blog. I really enjoyed getting these comments, so hopefully no one is offended. However I also found humour in the the overly serious dissection of Wizardo and Doctor Magnificant not being thematically appropriate. I have blanked out peoples names so as not to reveal private information

Hope you enjoy....

Hey Luke,

Thanks for sending this. It generated some positive editorial response, but not quite enough for acceptance, so we're going to pass.

Here are the relevant comments...

Tyler Sm*th:<<>>

M*ll*e W*lson O'R**lly:<<>>

M*ke Richards**n-Bry*n:<<>

Punctuation: "…by years end…" needs a possessive apostrophe.
Punctuation: "…subject to managers approval…" needs a possessive apostrophe.
Punctuation generally needs improvement, especially use of commas.

Consistency: first it's "Personnel Defence Laser", then it's "Personnel Defense Laser".Also, "Personal Defence Laser" would make more sense than "Personnel Defence Laser".

Unless it's some peculiar usage, "neither world" should be "netherworld".

Thematically, it's a little fuzzy. He's clearly going for a G.I. Joe vibe, but both Wizardo with his dimensional vortex and a character with a name like Doctor Magnificent seem more suitable for a superheroic setting. Never quite captures the disconnect between the exciting and exotic world of super soldiering and the banality of bureaucracy. I would expect much of the humour in a piece like this to come from the villains, the outlandishness of the villains' evil schemes, and the extravagant deaths of both heroes and villains, but none of those areas is explored. It's a no for me. >>

Hopefully these comments may be of some use if you think of sending this piece elsewhere. If nothing else they will tell you how we think and respond to material. Better luck next time.

Best,
K*rt L*chs
Editor - TheBigJewel.com


Also stay tuned from some David Harvey inspired ramblings about rent/real-esate in Vancouver! (Half -done)