Hello all,
I thought it would be fun to post the rejection letters for my recent fiction submissions on my blog. I really enjoyed getting these comments, so hopefully no one is offended. However I also found humour in the the overly serious dissection of Wizardo and Doctor Magnificant not being thematically appropriate. I have blanked out peoples names so as not to reveal private information
Hope you enjoy....
Hey Luke,
Thanks for sending this. It generated some positive editorial response, but not quite enough for acceptance, so we're going to pass.
Here are the relevant comments...
Tyler Sm*th:<<>>
M*ll*e W*lson O'R**lly:<<>>
M*ke Richards**n-Bry*n:<<>
Punctuation: "…by years end…" needs a possessive apostrophe.
Punctuation: "…subject to managers approval…" needs a possessive apostrophe.
Punctuation generally needs improvement, especially use of commas.
Consistency: first it's "Personnel Defence Laser", then it's "Personnel Defense Laser".Also, "Personal Defence Laser" would make more sense than "Personnel Defence Laser".
Unless it's some peculiar usage, "neither world" should be "netherworld".
Thematically, it's a little fuzzy. He's clearly going for a G.I. Joe vibe, but both Wizardo with his dimensional vortex and a character with a name like Doctor Magnificent seem more suitable for a superheroic setting. Never quite captures the disconnect between the exciting and exotic world of super soldiering and the banality of bureaucracy. I would expect much of the humour in a piece like this to come from the villains, the outlandishness of the villains' evil schemes, and the extravagant deaths of both heroes and villains, but none of those areas is explored. It's a no for me. >>
Hopefully these comments may be of some use if you think of sending this piece elsewhere. If nothing else they will tell you how we think and respond to material. Better luck next time.
Best,
K*rt L*chs
Editor - TheBigJewel.com
Also stay tuned from some David Harvey inspired ramblings about rent/real-esate in Vancouver! (Half -done)
Friday, January 29, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Seven Small Changes Required to make the World a Better Place
The David Harvey love fest continues...this link is very exciting if a tad long. I really like the concept of a "co-revolution" and the comparison of the shift from capitalism to "something else" to that of feudalism to capitalism.
http://davidharvey.org/2009/12/organizing-for-the-anti-capitalist-transition/
In short, creating a society designed to meet human need would invole significant changes to all of the following items:
a) technological and organizational forms of production, exchange, and consumption
b) relations to nature
c) social relations between people
d) mental conceptions of the world
e) labor processes and production of specific goods, geographies, services or affects
f ) institutional, legal and governmental arrangements
g) the conduct of daily life that underpins social reproduction.
If one thinks of the transition from feudalism to capitalism, or even the changes that have taken place in the last thirty years one can easily see that all of the above items have changed significantly.
They key remains to change these in a way that promotes meeting real human need and not in a way that only serves to maintain a dynamic status quo. More on this later....
http://davidharvey.org/2009/12/organizing-for-the-anti-capitalist-transition/
In short, creating a society designed to meet human need would invole significant changes to all of the following items:
a) technological and organizational forms of production, exchange, and consumption
b) relations to nature
c) social relations between people
d) mental conceptions of the world
e) labor processes and production of specific goods, geographies, services or affects
f ) institutional, legal and governmental arrangements
g) the conduct of daily life that underpins social reproduction.
If one thinks of the transition from feudalism to capitalism, or even the changes that have taken place in the last thirty years one can easily see that all of the above items have changed significantly.
They key remains to change these in a way that promotes meeting real human need and not in a way that only serves to maintain a dynamic status quo. More on this later....
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Awesome Harvey Quote
here is a great quote from David Harvey's "Limits to Capital".
"...the theory of crisis formation under capitalism is a mixture of acute incite, muddled exposition and intuitive judgment, all spiced with a dash of that millennial vision to which Marx was prone. But the account, though incomplete, is of compelling power, at least in terms of the social consequences of the devaluation of capital that it depicts. We can begin to see how, why ,and according to what rules capitalists fall out with each other at times of crisis. How each faction seeks political power as a means to shove off the damage on to others. And we can begin to see the very human tragedy of the working class consequent upon the devaluation of variable capital.
The inner logic that governs the laws of motion of capitalism is cold, ruthless and inexorable, responsive only to the law of value. Yet value is a social relation, a product of a particular historical process. Human beings were organizers, creators and participants in that history. We have, Marx asserts, built a vast social enterprise which dominates us, delimits our freedoms and ultimately visits upon us the worst forms of degradation."
"...the theory of crisis formation under capitalism is a mixture of acute incite, muddled exposition and intuitive judgment, all spiced with a dash of that millennial vision to which Marx was prone. But the account, though incomplete, is of compelling power, at least in terms of the social consequences of the devaluation of capital that it depicts. We can begin to see how, why ,and according to what rules capitalists fall out with each other at times of crisis. How each faction seeks political power as a means to shove off the damage on to others. And we can begin to see the very human tragedy of the working class consequent upon the devaluation of variable capital.
The inner logic that governs the laws of motion of capitalism is cold, ruthless and inexorable, responsive only to the law of value. Yet value is a social relation, a product of a particular historical process. Human beings were organizers, creators and participants in that history. We have, Marx asserts, built a vast social enterprise which dominates us, delimits our freedoms and ultimately visits upon us the worst forms of degradation."
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Two Cents on Prorogation
The debate about the prorogation of the Canadian Parliament, the second in a year and a half, represents a new low in Canadian political discourse.
While, state relations are beholden to corporate interests, and the state operates as much as a facilitator of capitalist accumulation as it does a representative of any real democratic interest the state and functional liberal democratic institutions remain important. With appropriate pressure the modern state can create material improvements in people's lives and the programs it maintains (health care, welfare, unemployment insurance) are important and need to be maintained and protected.
However, the recent move by Steven Harper regarding prorogation and the backlash/discourse surrounding it shows how far the discourse concerning liberal democracy in Canada has fallen. It has become a near radical position to assert that the Government of Canada should function according to the rules it sets for itself. The fact that we must protest and demand of Steven Harper the minute level of accountability afforded by a 19Th century elite focused institution is absurd.
While I do not support the prorogation of Parliament, and the avoidance of any measure of responsibility by Steven Harper and the Government of Canada, the proper functioning of Parliament is as much an absence of politics as it is a democratic expression of people.
While banal, the benefit of the debate over prorogation is that through its very absurdity (thank you prorogation for being such a foolish and esoteric word) it exposes the inadequacy of liberal democratic institutions more generally.
So as you protest against Steven Harper and the prorogation of Parliament keep in mind what you are supporting:
- the continuation of ineffective committees. Committees that legitimate torture through its very discussion, and continue to deflect against the daily violence in Afghanistan.
- A "question period" that is largely ignored and does nothing to hold the government to account and much to inflate the egos of politicians
- A weekly meeting of 73 "businessmen", 51 lawyers, 46 "managers", 34 "consultants" and a host of other occupations meant to represent Canadian society at large
- A list of Conservative Legislation that aims to among other things substantially increase prison sentences, remove Canada Posts exclusive privilege on foreign mail (that's for you Aaron), institute free trade agreements with Jordon, Columbia, Peru, and a number of other nasty things I'm to lazy to research at this time.
Now join that facebook group!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
A little dense
Here is a neat website if you have some time to kill. Its fun to play with the buildings and I like their attempt to quantify the benefits of density in tangible terms.
http://www.shapevancouver.com/
With that said one of my goals is to get better at decompacting these type of things. Obviously, this "survey" is designed as a way to get people to think about more density in the City, which is not in and of itself a bad thing. However, as the main sponsors are Concord Pacific there is obviously some profit motive at work here as well. Density serves their interests as more density means more condos sold and higher profit margins.
This has got me thinking about my earlier post about the concept of space and how the ways in which we live, the architecture we use, and the planning policies in place reflect changes in the means of production.
We are currently going through a major economic shift, and its interesting to see the local effects of this change.
For whatever reason there is a major push throughout the developed world for more public transit, urban density, and other "sustainable" ways of living. A naive view would say that these changes were demanded by regular people and then implemented by governments on their behalf. An opposite view would say we are being brutally manipulated by power forces outside of our control, in order to have a functional economy in a world without oil etc...The truth lies somewhere else as the relationships between these concepts is complicated. In any sense, these changes are perfectly able to function within capitalism and do not represent an alternative in any real sense even though they are often presented as such.
The key is to make these changes work for everyday people rather than just those in positions of power. What kind of city and what type of social relations are required in order to get rid of capitalism?
With that said lets get me one of those air parcels
http://www.shapevancouver.com/
With that said one of my goals is to get better at decompacting these type of things. Obviously, this "survey" is designed as a way to get people to think about more density in the City, which is not in and of itself a bad thing. However, as the main sponsors are Concord Pacific there is obviously some profit motive at work here as well. Density serves their interests as more density means more condos sold and higher profit margins.
This has got me thinking about my earlier post about the concept of space and how the ways in which we live, the architecture we use, and the planning policies in place reflect changes in the means of production.
We are currently going through a major economic shift, and its interesting to see the local effects of this change.
For whatever reason there is a major push throughout the developed world for more public transit, urban density, and other "sustainable" ways of living. A naive view would say that these changes were demanded by regular people and then implemented by governments on their behalf. An opposite view would say we are being brutally manipulated by power forces outside of our control, in order to have a functional economy in a world without oil etc...The truth lies somewhere else as the relationships between these concepts is complicated. In any sense, these changes are perfectly able to function within capitalism and do not represent an alternative in any real sense even though they are often presented as such.
The key is to make these changes work for everyday people rather than just those in positions of power. What kind of city and what type of social relations are required in order to get rid of capitalism?
With that said lets get me one of those air parcels
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Terminator 4 - Fan Fiction (Episode 1)
John Conner, looked down from the back of his helicopter into the sea below. The waves raged around him, a veritable perfect storm. The wind and seas were so fierce John worried that the pilot might loose control and plunge dangerously into the deep dark ocean.
"Your not going down there are you? You'll never make it to that submarine in this storm," screamed the pilot over the sound of the struggling engine of the now 35 year old helicopter. John spat back in his usual vicious tone. Did no one understand the fate of all mankind rested in his callused hands.
With a determined breath, John jumped into the ocean. He could feel the water surging around him. It dampened his every pore. Soaked him to the bone. John could barely swim, but swim he did. John continued down deep into the murky depths of black foreboding waves, he needed to reach that submarine.
At that very moment, John saw a large dark shape out of the corner of his eye. He feverishly hoped it was his destination. The submarine could not be to far now. John's water logged clothes begged him to give up, to forever commit to the dark mistress of the deep. Despite these feelings John resisted continuing ever forward on his quest.
Upon getting closer, John was disappointed when the ominous shape before him turned out to be a whale. In spite of this, John kept swimming, downwards towards the resistance leadership. As he swam the whale matched his every stroke. The whale got closer and closer, and soon its intentions became clear. Opening its enormous mouth, the whale swallowed John without so much as a thought.
Some time later, John awoke in the stomach of the whale. To his surprise it was quite roomy and he was not alone. In addition to the numerous fish, shipwrecks, and twitching Terminator carcasses, an old man sat in the center of the whales stomach. He was gently roasting a small herring over a tiny fire.
"Greeting wayward traveler. It looks as if you too are stuck in this whales mouth. I myself have been in here for sometime. 25 years by my count. Has much changed since I last saw the sun and stars dance above my head."
John explained to the man, the fate of the world. Of Skynet and the Terminators and how fate had ordained him as the lone protector of mankind. John pleaded with the old man for help. He had to get out of this whales stomach, and quickly. The old man found John's story hard to believe but reluctantly agreed to help.
Just then, John remembered a movie he had seen in what seemed like the distant past. A past without Skynet, without Terminators, and without the horrors he now witnessed daily.
Putting John's plan into action the two men worked diligently. They dutifully piled the wood of various discarded shipwrecks into a makeshift fire. The smoke irritated the whale, and its stomach began convulsing. The smoke had the additional effect of completely drying John's clothes and hair. As the smoked filled the whales stomach, John and the old man smiled at each other. The plan was working it looked as if they would be freed from the stomach of the beast. Spat out of whales stomach like so much fateful vomit.
As the smoke continued to billow the whale let out a tremendous.
AAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
And with that John zoomed out of the whales stomach. A bubble of air surrounded him preventing the water from reaching his clothes and hair. Miraculously, the whales smoke induced digestive problems piloted John directly into the waiting hatch of the resistances' command military submarine. Confused but excited, John had reached his destination. Looking around for his comrade in fire and unwanted digestion, John could not see the old man. Out of the submarines' hatch window John caught a glimpse of the now deceased old man sinking slowly into the depths.
Briefly thanking his lost comrade, John continued on with his quest. With the fate of mankind resting in his hands there was no time to waste grieving. With a final thought, he stormed into the command center of the submarine. Finally he posed the information he needed to defeat Skynet once and for all. Fate was ready for him, and John was ready for fate
.....
"Your not going down there are you? You'll never make it to that submarine in this storm," screamed the pilot over the sound of the struggling engine of the now 35 year old helicopter. John spat back in his usual vicious tone. Did no one understand the fate of all mankind rested in his callused hands.
With a determined breath, John jumped into the ocean. He could feel the water surging around him. It dampened his every pore. Soaked him to the bone. John could barely swim, but swim he did. John continued down deep into the murky depths of black foreboding waves, he needed to reach that submarine.
At that very moment, John saw a large dark shape out of the corner of his eye. He feverishly hoped it was his destination. The submarine could not be to far now. John's water logged clothes begged him to give up, to forever commit to the dark mistress of the deep. Despite these feelings John resisted continuing ever forward on his quest.
Upon getting closer, John was disappointed when the ominous shape before him turned out to be a whale. In spite of this, John kept swimming, downwards towards the resistance leadership. As he swam the whale matched his every stroke. The whale got closer and closer, and soon its intentions became clear. Opening its enormous mouth, the whale swallowed John without so much as a thought.
Some time later, John awoke in the stomach of the whale. To his surprise it was quite roomy and he was not alone. In addition to the numerous fish, shipwrecks, and twitching Terminator carcasses, an old man sat in the center of the whales stomach. He was gently roasting a small herring over a tiny fire.
"Greeting wayward traveler. It looks as if you too are stuck in this whales mouth. I myself have been in here for sometime. 25 years by my count. Has much changed since I last saw the sun and stars dance above my head."
John explained to the man, the fate of the world. Of Skynet and the Terminators and how fate had ordained him as the lone protector of mankind. John pleaded with the old man for help. He had to get out of this whales stomach, and quickly. The old man found John's story hard to believe but reluctantly agreed to help.
Just then, John remembered a movie he had seen in what seemed like the distant past. A past without Skynet, without Terminators, and without the horrors he now witnessed daily.
Putting John's plan into action the two men worked diligently. They dutifully piled the wood of various discarded shipwrecks into a makeshift fire. The smoke irritated the whale, and its stomach began convulsing. The smoke had the additional effect of completely drying John's clothes and hair. As the smoked filled the whales stomach, John and the old man smiled at each other. The plan was working it looked as if they would be freed from the stomach of the beast. Spat out of whales stomach like so much fateful vomit.
As the smoke continued to billow the whale let out a tremendous.
AAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
And with that John zoomed out of the whales stomach. A bubble of air surrounded him preventing the water from reaching his clothes and hair. Miraculously, the whales smoke induced digestive problems piloted John directly into the waiting hatch of the resistances' command military submarine. Confused but excited, John had reached his destination. Looking around for his comrade in fire and unwanted digestion, John could not see the old man. Out of the submarines' hatch window John caught a glimpse of the now deceased old man sinking slowly into the depths.
Briefly thanking his lost comrade, John continued on with his quest. With the fate of mankind resting in his hands there was no time to waste grieving. With a final thought, he stormed into the command center of the submarine. Finally he posed the information he needed to defeat Skynet once and for all. Fate was ready for him, and John was ready for fate
.....
Thursday, November 12, 2009
My (hopefuly) first McSweeney's Submission
Teammates and fellow Super Soldiers
I regret to inform you that upon reviewing Q1 and Q2 financial statements the Super Soldier - Team X project is expected to be over budget by years end. In the interests of financial accountability and the continued success of this program the following efficiencies are to be be implemented immediately:
- use of the Super Sub/Invisible Plane for personal/take home use is suspended until further notice
- Personnel Defence Lasers can only be set above 40 megawatts with the signed justification from your supervisor ( See Josie to pick up your new and improved - Personnel Defence Laser Use Form 101A)
- In the event that an appropriate catastrophic event(A.C.E) occurs outside of regular working hours call-outs are limited to Standby Team A only, with this said underwater catastrophes remain the sole jurisdiction of Seatastic the Wonder Dog.
- mileage dispersments are limited to conventional modes of transportation only, trips to Moon Base X via the teleportation ray will no longer be eligible for the 52C/mile rebate, rebates via conventional modes of transportation remain subject to managers approval.
In addition to this the Team X will no longer respond to the following events:
- Earthquakes of magnitude 7.8 and less
- Flooding in any area with a population density less than 1200 people per square mile
- Any event/catastrophe occurring in the Southern Hemisphere
As we all know, budget season is fast approaching so I would appreciate any innovative cost cutting ideas you may have for next year. I know things have been a bit crazy around here ever since Wizardo opened up that dimensional vortex to the neither world, but I'm sure that if we all work together we should have a successful and efficient second half of the year
Thank you,
Doctor Magnificent
Vice President - Interdimensional Catastrophes & Cost Control
Super Soldier - Team X
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